Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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