I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
