Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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