I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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