So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
