he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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