Four minutes until I can fart!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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