Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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