I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
