So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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