you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
