thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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