Who wears a wallet chain?!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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