We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
