just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
