Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Still dying that you shit outside
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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