If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
