He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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