While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
