I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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