Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
