this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
