now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
...so i touched it.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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