Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize