i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
