drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize