it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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