I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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