im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
