walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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