Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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