he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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