do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
