I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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