I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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