I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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