i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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