party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
