Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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