My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
