the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
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