Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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