So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
