You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
