just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
