i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
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The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
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Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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