Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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