Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
