1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She bit a glass in half.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
