I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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