question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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