so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
