I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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