My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
