I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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