God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
