Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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