does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
pray to the hookup gods
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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