Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just want nice things and good sex
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
