I'm going to jail i love you
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
home. puking in laundry basket.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
