they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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