If that was your dad, he is hot
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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