he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Enjoy the penises
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
